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To be contentTo be full
To have an emptiness, a hunger
That can be filled
Sated and calm, blur edges
Perhaps to let go
Of tears and fears and woes
Or just to remember those close moments
Before getting too close
To feeling empty again
And want for nothing more than hunger
That can be sated and sent away
Why do You Stare?Poking peeping pressing eyes watching
As I pull at my skirt and wish the wind would die
(after wishing I could fly and soar seconds before)
I wish my tote bag toto would become fierce and horrible
And scare off all these eyes staring
At something I do not understand
I do not know why they look at me
So many many eyes
Is it my simplicity
Is it beauty or wildness
Is it my confidence
Is it my wariness and alert body
What could you be staring at?
I wish you wouldn’t
I already feel like an outsider
Like an alien or creature borne of nuclear waste
I am allowed
I have the right to feel comfortable in my skin
To feel beautiful
So why do you stare
Like I am all my worse fears?
Why can’t you talk to me
Feel at ease?
If I am all these good things
By this society and possibly many societies
Why do you stare at me?
You don’t even know the things that make me impressive
Or scary or pathetic or interesting
So what do you see?
Recipe for distance (walls)first mix pain, degradation, and fear
the grit will fold in as you stir
as will small bubbles of memory, these will keep sleep
light and fluffed with referential pricks and shocks
(which may cause dark circles under your eyes or amnesia)
sift through words constantly to keep interaction stiff and light
analyze everything to break down particularly friendly bits
(these will toughen the recipe)
add in anger smoothly with words until thick
then beat into memories until pain bubbles to the top
and degradation and fear become shame.
let stew, the pain will begin to heat up the other ingredients
let simmer till it begins to settle, add salt (tears acceptable)
isolation begins to form on the top after a few weeks, be sure to mix thoroughly
adding salt and analysis to taste
a sour taste will begin to develop in mouth, as the pit in the stomach solidifies
This is the beginning of a wall.
LostI get so lost
with so much sadness and emotion
this emotion(al) roller coaster
I got so lost
that writing and art
weren't for other people to see
they were too broken
for me to break down
into thoughts I could share
or understand fully
how I could explain what I meant
I lost who I was for a moment
maybe I lost who I was for a while
there's been a lot of figuring out
love, life, self, broken up time
family, friends, in-between
and how life effects all those
I found so much in love
I have found so much in support
I have found so much in music
I have lost so much in translation
now it's time to connect lost and found
into wisdom and advice and memories
maybe kind of lost, but searching
aiming, learning, not frozen still
How does that make you feel?You ought to be afraid when I lose eloquence
For I can be eloquent
I can be loving and kind and wise and clever
But, see, I don’t just lose indicators of intelligence, wit, refinement, and harmony
I stop making sense most of the time
I talk about how I’m feeling as though I am reinventing abstract art
Right now I am so utterly filled with hurt I don’t know how to explain
Where my mind goes
Because I don’t want to invited you
To dark cramped gritty memories
Which I can barely stand to look at by myself
And lead you along with a trail of bread crumbs
Signaling subject change and emotion and theme
Because I don’t know how to sort through all of this confusion
So my mind melts down its boundaries
Let’s everything in
And nobody understands how everything will mix
Metaphors with thoughts and senses
Needs with wants and pains
And I lose my ability to make it funny or clever or clear
And break down till there are no more words or tears to be shed
Timing (twins)Sometimes I wish my sister and I were twins
Our seeming polar opposite personalities but recognizable identical beings
Our fighting and best friend times all mixed together
As though we truly were siblings
Rivaling for the same position or differentiation
Having someone look so similar
Can be a blessing or a curse
But more than having a twin
I could be a year and half older
The right age
the right person at the right time
The other twin, not the younger sister
We could be almost the same as now
The fact that she’s 21 has its perks too
But I’m not thinking of drinking away my sorrows
Or pretending we would have the same parties
We might have some things like that
But mostly it seems fitting, all of a sudden
That people thought we were twins
That many of our fights came from not being mature enough
Not old enough to understand, not where I should be
Imagine, a year and a half more
We would still have those arguments
Still have those times
Of distance and best friends
Doubtfulthere’s something about kissing, feeling
it’s different when done right
really meant, really felt
a curling in the stomach
a burning of soreness and excitement and breathlessness
perhaps more like a spreading web of heat
but there is a patience, a sense of the other person
in the give and take of kissing someone for a long time
years of meaning and sense and closeness
sometimes murky with loss, anger, regret, gratitude
and a fullness after, a settling of all the pieces, stilling a tide
or rolling a stone into a new place to let grass
but with a hesitancy
there’s a kind of heartbreak
cotton filler from a high school essay at 2 am
a dryness of wondering what can be given
or sand in place of grass, drying of a wave
that’s when feeling comes into play
emotion in the eyes, from the pores, tight fingers
maybe a focus on warm hands traveling previous lands
or closed features, wild without thought behind those walls
pithy as dry turkey, celebratory toppings
RulesI never cared about rules before
I carefully followed ones which showed loved or respect
but even those have been broken before
In essays I brought thoughts to life but forgot
footnotes, the correctly quoted quotes, even
as I elaborated the texts and flows
But you, you cared so much
not about some of the same rules as the world
but around people, what would be seen, heard, taken
we both climbed roofs like we were habitual minor smokers
but I made you laugh when I had to run away around you
full of something new, asking for more and running away again
full of life you said in your gaze, happiness, innocence
so sad in your gaze
I learned which rules you cared for
how to match colors, words, and tone
I learned what hurt
rules which penned you in while you followed your rope
God, you wanted it to be an anchor
from drifting off the planet forgotten
to be good always
to prove it
so I became an anchor too
not wandering around with friends
not pulling you as much as possible
but even with that
Two weeks noticeI noticed over the last two weeks
how clothes match and bond
together like chain links carefully welded
as though to deflect glances and words and anger and
thought sometimes that would hurt too much
with a weakened body filled with pains of so long
long standing in your future and past
to hurt you all over again
And I think I understand why you cared
Why it mattered to you and certainly
for me I felt safer, warmer, braver
But then when I stopped
matching and making this armor
I almost couldn't find the strength to
pull the links together again
as though a fatal blow fell
not from forgetfulness
contempt, perhaps anger
but disinterest in keeping myself together
And I think I understand why you cared
Why it scared you so
I don't make sense, like a muted commercial
which whirls around your eyes
as I move too fast for
you to understand without matching colors
sorting patterns for all the thoughts, ideas, and damage,
through straining stripes and colander spots,
I moved too
Remember the Reason for the SeasonIt was that time again, the most joyful and wondrous season of the year. The time where cheer and happiness filled the air; it was Christmas. This was the time for the magic of the season to wash over everyone.
Pathetic, Aldora thought as she observed downtown below from her spot on the rooftop. The streets were adorned with colorful lights and bulletin boards that advertised gifts that shoppers could buy last minute at great deals. Since it was Christmas Eve, downtown was bustling with happy couples holding hands, parents frantic to buy the perfect toy for their child, and sales people encouraging potential customers to visit their store.
She scoffed and tucked her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. Who could be cheery living in the hellhole called Ikebukuro? The only thing special about the city was how it was entirely rotten. The police allowed color gangs to wander freely in the streets and corruption happened above and below the city grou
Deja Vu- CoTV RPDeja Vu
It was early afternoon when Thistlestar managed to find her apprentice in the middle of camp, and while the leader wore her familiar warm smile, slight exhaustion dulled her eyes. Shiningpaw might have noticed that her mentor looked different than the last time she had seen her; not just in demeanor, but in shape. Thistlestar's abdomen had grown heavier with the kits she was carrying, but anyone who didn't know better might have just mistaken it for extra weight from too much prey. It was still rather early, after all.
"I was hoping you could come with me for some more battle training." Thistlestar's expression grew serious. "After what happened with the gang, I want to make sure that you're prepared in the event that they ambush us again."
Shiningpaw was fiddling at the ground below with her claws. She wasn’t hungry. She should have been happy, overjoyed. Endlesspaw loved her! But she felt anxious for some reason..
She pricked up her
The Lusty Argonian Trade (Skryim Body Swap TG)Some say being an adventurer is tough, and sometimes it's hard to deny that fact. Sure, it's extremely easy for me now, but it wasn't always that way. Killing trolls used to be a challenge, now I can knock them over like they were made out of wood! I've really come a long way as an adventurer, yet there was one adventure I hoped never to tackle. This adventure would prove to test every fibre of my being as Dovahkiin, for I would now adventure into womanhood. You see, it all started on that fateful sunny afternoon. I had just gotten back from slaying an all-powerful world destroying dragon, and I thought it'd be nice to just kick back and relax. I wandered back to domicile, after I returned from my ultimate quest. As I entered the house, I took notice of how unnaturally clean everything looked. My maid, Lifts-Her-Tail did an exquisite job today! You see, Lifts-Her-Tail was a housemaid with a bit of a reputation. She had her Argonian name changed to "Lifts-Her-Tail", a fictional characte
Introducing - ManiacThe dusty planes of the lonely, stretching-out sand fields soared with heat that was absored by the ground throughout the day. The silent swooshing of air filled the ears of any tresspasers. The reason for the choice of words such as tresspasser was because this place - this field - it was dangerous, deadly - and most of all, it was privately owned. That would be alright if the owner was a normal person, but considering the fact that the owner of this sandy dune was a maniacal human being, you wouldn't want to plant your foot at any part of his land.
Wilter Wilhelm - for some people psychopath, for some people genius. For some people both.
The description that was given about him most of the times was the virtuoso of biological weapons and people. People were nothing but rats to him. He was a human himself, but he thought of the race as something that wasn't needed. He believed in future. Robots, caings, biological weapons, biological agents, armies. After the third world war animals h
Lo que nunca me atrevi a decirte¡Bienvenido a casa!
Dame eso, que pesa mucho.
Dame una oportunidad, te lo suplico...
No sabes lo triste que estaba Rosendo sin ti.
No sabes cuánto te necesito.
Te he limpiado la casa de arriba a abajo.
Te he echado tantísimo de menos.
Por favor, sientate.
Por favor, quiereme.
¿Quieres tomar algo?
Quiero hacerte feliz.
Te prometí un Martini, ¿Recuerdas?
Te prometo que siempre estaré a tu lado.
Me muero por ir a ver a los Rolling contigo.
Me muero por pasar el resto de mi vida contigo.
Me duele verte así...
Iré a por algo de comer.
Iría hasta el fin del mundo por ti.
He pedido una hamburguesa, ¡Toda tuya!
Quedate mi corazón, es todo tuyo.
¡Eres un heroe, tío!
Eres el amor de mi vida
Ask My OCs #15: CrispinThough Crispin was out of breath, he couldn't help laughing as his pursuers lagged behind. He had to admit they were persistent. He turned a corner into an alley and ran up the wall. He was only able to go up a few feet, but it allowed him to push off with a kick and land easily on top of a dumpster. He used the same trick to grab onto the end of a drawn-up fire escape. Trying to stifle laughter as he heard the small group of older men approach, he scaled the three story building via the fire escape and hauled himself onto the roof just as they turned in to the alley.
From safely above, Crispin watched them slow to a stop and look around in confusion. He chuckled and pulled a Japanese kunai, sharpened on all sides to form a dagger, from a carabiner on his belt loop. He laid on his stomach and leaned over the edge of the roof. Directly below him was an open metal garbage can. Grinning, Crispin lowered his arm over the edge, closing one eye to line up the shot, and let go.
The metal tool
Mind-Trade (Dog Body Swap)Believe it or not, there are a lot of really bad product services out there. Most don't even do as advertised, or do it to an inferior quality of likewise services. Unlike those people who get jacked, I've found a service that's both reliable and unique. You see, one night I was on a date with my girlfriend. Things lead to another, and I followed her home. That's when she broke out a program called, "Mind-Trade", that would allow two people to switch minds. She placed the helmets on our heads, and somehow swapped our minds temporarily. It was both bizarre, and unique at the same time. After I had switched back to my own body, I became a believer in this program. It's so unique, allowing two people to switch minds on command. In fact, it wasn't just humans you could swap with. You could also switch with animals, which was what I was going to do immediately. I had just purchased the program today, and purchased two corresponding mind-switch helmets.
My plan was to switch minds with my go
Past‘Like an angel…’ Alec turned his head slightly to the side to look at his face from a better angle. ‘Why didn’t I just tell him 3 years ago… or 5.’ It was 3 am, he couldn’t sleep. A mixture of nightmares and cramps that plagues him for months now. ‘How much longer do I have to hold on…’ It was his second clean week now and he was over the worst part of the deprivation. It felt strange being where he was now, almost dreamlike, like he’d wake up any moment on the street again. 2 days ago he broke down on a street at night after straying 3, accompanied by cramps and regret. His hopes for a bright future passed long ago, now the question was if there was a future at all and the answer seemed clear after his ex, Jennifer, threw him out of her apartment- no.
‘maybe I died…’ he layed there on his back, on a bed, a real bed. He forgot how comfortable a bed was some while ago, if the cramps
My Christmas AngelIt's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere you go. Take a look in the Five and Ten glistening once again with candy canes and silver lanes aglow…
The music played softly in the background as Lailah stared outside of the frost covered window in her room. The snow falling covered the ground with shimmering white as students dragged suitcases behind them, leaving tracks in the pure snow. They hugged and waved goodbye to one another as they hopped into cabs waiting to take them home for the holiday.
Dark Lights Skills Academy was on their one month winter break to allow students to spend time with their families for Christmas and New Year’s. Everyone was excited for this long awaited break from studies and schoolwork to be able to unwind and relax.
Allen would be spending time with his mother and father, decorating the house and eating delicious food. He would be helping prepare all his favorite food for the great dinner and setting up the Christmas tree ad
PromHer nickname is Jezzy. I had no idea. I guess I don't really know anything much except that I want to know. She's one of those girls who wants to hide her anything that makes people look at her twice, so it seems. The last guy who had her might've been something like her, he had her and told her he didn't like her singing voice, her art, her music. He tried to hide her beautiful pieces, maybe to keep holding onto her. That's no reason.
It doesn't matter I suppose, she digs other guys more than me...which I would let slide, if I could just do one thing.
I'm not kidding myself that I want to do more than this, but of all things I could give her, this one seems to fit the best. Its dressing up in a tux for her, telling some of her friends to fuss over her so she's late but in a group kind of way, putting the corsage on her hand, and taking pictures she can look back on and smile. Its paying for the bill at dinner and returning any mon
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More