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PrintsAs long as the marks last
I may be healing but your marks last
the feeling still echoes in my mind
having you linger there is its own bruise
that itches down my spine
that wraps around my lungs
memories that pulse with a life of their own
steps in another direction
only help, act as practice
if you don't believe them
then time can show you
yes or no
with maybe in the present intervals
Out of LineI don't know whether its old pain
and snapping out, for power or anguish
or mere frustration for wanting you to
just take care of yourself
not about being a perfect cover girl
the fake the perfectionist
I want you to sleep, eat, grieve
breathe, move, enjoy
and I know the load of So Not My Job
but this snapping
that is something I can address
you seem to have a good sense of yourself
a good sense of how to handle yourself
I know the underbelly makes handling the rest
that much more difficult
part of me wants to pretend I know enough
to be allowed to preach or argue on this
I never had this sense that I could
control, maintain, handle, anything myself
and if I hadn't just gained an intuitive sense
I could've hated and hated and hated
I got lucky in so many ways to keep that from happening
now I hate that you hate yourself
because I think you are wrong about yourself
I love the person you are
I'm not asking for icing
I get truly scared, confused, angry
because you don't and seem t
good conscioustake the time to learn
to think and differentiate
to pull out of this tailspin
of months and weeks of slow realizations
and indecision and not knowing needs
or wants or what was missing or assumed
some speed has already come
no longer gaining speed losing altitude
but still identifying danger and obscurity
before I'm ready for being someone
who could do small to big things like
say I love you again
or say I miss you
because all that would do is rub dirt in the wound
and bring no answers for all the pain
and now is not the time for answers just yet
But of course, tu me manques
Forget MathI thought mathematically
one emotion can block out another
you had one person to block out me
I thought gravity would be on my side
give me more weight
that no one else could figure into the equation
and then the last person
set me off
before I knew, I realized I wanted to balance one to one
just yours, just mine
now I need to balance myself out from the hole I made and the one you left
What Makes a Good Personnot in terms of pure or impure
not in terms of perfect or imperfect
but something in the way I am
makes people think I am one of the most
person they know
sometimes I am wise and sometimes I am immature
sometimes I am oblivious or overly focused
on one outcome or thought or understanding
I have good intentions and look out for people
as a general principle
but lately I fear I have begun to slip
and become ordinary, because I can't just
always look out for other people
and that doesn't bother people
but it bothers me
however, I have to remember there are other factors
now I have something I need to deal with
or I will mar my present and future, possibly past
any recognition, any possibility of functioning
as a human being
and that is worth more, being a human for myself and others
than taking care of others or worrying too much
about what I should do
I wonder if this realization makes me more human
or simply more aware
I do not know
I am not giving up good intentions, but my fo
Confusionconfusion is one of those things
that comes from having a dirty filter
the mind has so many things to sort through
emotions, thoughts, wonderings, perspectives
mind altering manifestos, values, secrets
that when the natural organization
of the mind, somewhat like a tea filter
gets overwhelmed and bits of everything
get every which where
and some thoughts that should never
combine, compare, connect
somehow end up swirling around in your brain
and as the organization of the mind tries
to reorganize, separate ideas and wants
and nightmares back to where they were
the mind finds itself lost in its own system
unsure if the teapot used to sit on that shelf
or if the filter used to look so dark
and either some new system comes along or
we are left in the dark as to what to do
Scarsevery summer I would count my cuts and bruises and bites
see if any would unfurl into scars
every night I'd explore my constellation of stories
some of which I never knew
a nick from a blackberry, a hurried greeting to a table leg
blooming into a purple or iron mark
later fading or whitening into teeth on my skin
for all the things I did
I only have a few of these marks
waves of puberty breaking over thighs and hips
apparently growing gives stretch marks
scratches that seemed like they would fade
as their stories and memories did
from the crooks of my arms
a few pink flags from a knife
I only kept a few of these, my body knowing
which stories to keep, which to fade
the best example is the remains of my largest scar
three long streaks of Ionan barbed wire
thick white vines from a vault over a fence
one of which is the surviving scar
to keep me company when I miss the old island
the pink flags were little reminder notes
that yes I did this
where I had wished the black ink tightening my c
To be contentTo be full
To have an emptiness, a hunger
That can be filled
Sated and calm, blur edges
Perhaps to let go
Of tears and fears and woes
Or just to remember those close moments
Before getting too close
To feeling empty again
And want for nothing more than hunger
That can be sated and sent away
Why do You Stare?Poking peeping pressing eyes watching
As I pull at my skirt and wish the wind would die
(after wishing I could fly and soar seconds before)
I wish my tote bag toto would become fierce and horrible
And scare off all these eyes staring
At something I do not understand
I do not know why they look at me
So many many eyes
Is it my simplicity
Is it beauty or wildness
Is it my confidence
Is it my wariness and alert body
What could you be staring at?
I wish you wouldn’t
I already feel like an outsider
Like an alien or creature borne of nuclear waste
I am allowed
I have the right to feel comfortable in my skin
To feel beautiful
So why do you stare
Like I am all my worse fears?
Why can’t you talk to me
Feel at ease?
If I am all these good things
By this society and possibly many societies
Why do you stare at me?
You don’t even know the things that make me impressive
Or scary or pathetic or interesting
So what do you see?
Always Read The Tags! (Panda Furry TF TG)I can't believe I'm going clothing shopping already! I hadn't transformed that much lately, yet I had somehow already ripped through a ton of my favorite outfits. I should just wear stuff with better elastics, I'm pretty sure that's the only way to ensure that my clothes aren't ripped to pieces every time I transform. Oh well, I have a bit of cash to burn and I doubt a few new shirts and pants would tear through my wallet. I entered the mall and looked around for my favorite clothing store. Unfortunately for me, once I arrived I found that it was shut down! I remember hearing that it was closing down soon, but I thought it would be next month. Geez, I had so many good memories at that place. The best part about this place is that I could just go in and buy clothes and they would always fit! I didn't have to try on fifty pairs of clothing to find the perfect fit, I didn't have to try them on at all!
I was going to miss this place, but I had to move on. I needed to find a replacement, bu
EBC: Judas, Ventus and Myan RP - Unfamiliar Faces
Large paws carried the brown-colored jaguar to another rooftop, away from them. Away from the Courtyard, away from the sneering looks of the other hunters. Looks of mock from the older ones and jealously from the apprentices, many of which were a year, sometimes two, older than her. But what was that for? Myan was bought with the sole purpose of becoming a Bounty Hunter. Her whole life was an endless circuit of training, each harder than the other. Yet she embraced that idea, she wore herself, to the point of collapsing on each training. She was set to fight against humans, cats and even a bear, in the eyes of the Governor, and she won fights with a captured cat, and a full bounty hunter. Wasn't she worth of her title? Looks such as those pissed her off, and her need was to slash at them with her long, metallic claws. But instead she kept to herself, her mind considering endless strategies to not be taken as a lucky cat by anyone. She deserved to be there. She would prove i
Murder Mysteries and First Dates"Hey Jack!"
Jack turned to see Adrian running towards him, and his face lit up. "Adrian!"
Adrian smiled at him, putting his arm around Jack's waist and pulling him close. "So, what do you want to do?" Adrian asked.
Jack thought for a moment before grinning. "How about a movie night?"
"I kind of want to see Clue again," Adrian mused.
"Awesome. Can we watch it in your room, or should we stick with mine?"
"Probably yours. Our TV is bigger, but I'd rather deal with Dylan than Julian."
Jack nodded, understanding. "My room it is."
Once they found Jack's room, Adrian flopped down on Jack's bed while the raven haired boy put in the DVD. Jack grabbed the remote and jumped onto the bed, flopping down next to Adrian. He hit play and the opening theme from Clue started blaring out of the speakers.
Jack curled up in Adrian's arms, resting his head on his boyfriend's chest with his eyes fixed on the screen. Adrian ran a hand through Jack's hair absentmindedly, listening to Jack hum quietly alon
Sickly |Writing RECreak...
Even the slightest sound awoke him in his half conscious state, and much to his displeasure. With a hoarse growl, he turned over, away from the bright light coming in from the hallway. The Scout closed his eyes tightly, watching the lights behind his eyes dance to the rhythmic pounding in his head. It throbbed with every click of the boots that approached him. Despite the wielder's attempt to advance quietly, the floor refused to remain silent, and creaked at the same volume as the door. It was of no surprise, however. The base was an old one, dating back to the 1850's and the wood of the building much earlier than that.
A breeze crossed in through the open entry way, sending a shiver through the ever-cold mercenary. He shivered at the same moment a gloved hand touched his shoulder. It wasn't a delicate one, but not unkind. It had a firm place as it shook him slightly. The movement made the weak nauseous, and he limply swatted the hand away with a hiss.
“I heard you're n
The Handmaiden who became a knightOnce there was a young Prince, who was known throughout the kingdoms for being especially gentle and kind. The young prince had an older brother, who was much more confident and bold than The Young Prince.
While the Prince's older brother was always attending balls and formal events, the young prince preferred quiet and solitude. While the young prince considered everyone his friend, he knew he would never grow to be the social butterfly his brother was.
Through time the Young Prince grew especially close to a young handmaiden, who worked under both the Prince and his brother. They shared a gentle and kind nature, and this shared nature soon led t o them becoming the best of friends. Almost daily the young Handmaiden would visit the prince, and listen to him read.
As time progressed the handmaiden and the Prince soon fell in love. Both were too shy to admit it, but it was known well by others.
Unfortunately, as soon as the Handmaiden worked up the courage to confess her feelings
You Again?! -Kifo + MbwehaKifo narrowed her amethyst eyes as she slowly lumbered back to the Babukur outpost, a limp hare in hanging in her mouth by the throat. The she-cat had been lucky to catch something such as a hare; she was a terrible hunter, so it was usual for her to come back empty-handed. Yet it was just pure luck that she had caught the hare off guard before ending it's life. I'll give this to Hodari before I speak with him about my heritage now that I'm in a better mood she thought, instantly screwing up her eyes as she remembered acting all vulnerable during her breakdown in front of the Leader of her Coalition when she told the story of her past.
Flicking her long tail from side to side, the dusty-pelted cheetess went to look up at the sky. The sun was already setting by now; it wasn't long until the first few stars appeared on the inky black night sky. For as long as she could remember, Kifo had always admired the fiery colors of the sunset. They reminded her so much of the color of blood, somet
Internet Relations. Pt3Internet Relations. 3
The Little Red-Head Repeats The Interesting New Name To Himself, “ BO-REES~.” He Repeats It Over And Over Again. “BO-REES! I Like Your Name. It’s Fun To Say.”Mused The Little Red-Head. Boris Plays With The End Of His White Lab Coat Before Saying Shyly,” Спасибо(Thank You)…Would You Like To See Surprise Now?” Boris Blushes And Pulls Alvin Off To His Kitchen For A Surprise. “I Made The Food Stuffs For You….”The Blond Points To A Neatly Set Table Full Of Both Deserts And Various Russian Foods.
“An At Home Date?!” The Little Red-Head Exclaims.”Awesome, I Like It.” He Smirks At The Larger Male Before Going To Sit Down. “Am Glad You Like…” He Sits Down Himself, Starting To Move A Few Plates Around.”Help Yourself, Little One.”The Larger Man Says Happily, Enjoying Th
The Monkey-Fly (Housefly Head-Swap)Garage sales are perfect for getting awesome loot and crazy crap! So, when a crazy mad science intern like me finds a set of teleporting pods, it's like striking gold. I found these babies at a garage sale a few days ago, and it was only natural I purchase them and bring them home with me. To me teleporting pods only have one purpose: Swapping the heads of two beings. Teleporting is useless when using these things, they are so heavy that by the time you push it somewhere else you'll realize how useless the whole endeavor was. However, if you swap heads with something else you can at least get some fun out of it! I decided the best course of action was to swap my monkey head with the head of another creature. And what better creature to swap heads with then a fly?
Sounds like crazy idea, doesn't it? Who would want to be a gross old fly? Well, this fly had been engineered by Applied Synergetics to be the most amazing fly ever! It has the lifespan of an average human, and durability to ma
Keep GoingI was born slightly different from most babies. One of my feet was twisted, with the toes much smaller than a normal baby’s. When I was one, I would wander around the house from the moment I awoke until when my dad replaced me in my crib every night. Although my foot was a setback, it didn’t stop me from crawling the floors and even climbing the sofa one day. I would chase our cat on my hands and knees, undaunted by how she would slip away swiftly under a couch or onto a high counter. Almost my entire waking time was spent crawling, although this allowed my parents a break during the night because I slept so easily.
By the time I was two, I had started to attempt walking. I started by pulling up to my knees with my little fists clutching a shelf, chair or anything solid, and from there would try to stand up. It was a painfully slow process for an impatient toddler. It took a lot of practice, but I anticipated walking too much to ever get tired of it.
Moving my feet was the
PromHer nickname is Jezzy. I had no idea. I guess I don't really know anything much except that I want to know. She's one of those girls who wants to hide her anything that makes people look at her twice, so it seems. The last guy who had her might've been something like her, he had her and told her he didn't like her singing voice, her art, her music. He tried to hide her beautiful pieces, maybe to keep holding onto her. That's no reason.
It doesn't matter I suppose, she digs other guys more than me...which I would let slide, if I could just do one thing.
I'm not kidding myself that I want to do more than this, but of all things I could give her, this one seems to fit the best. Its dressing up in a tux for her, telling some of her friends to fuss over her so she's late but in a group kind of way, putting the corsage on her hand, and taking pictures she can look back on and smile. Its paying for the bill at dinner and returning any mon
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More